Know Thy Self; Santa Maria . . . It is a long one

Santa Maria . . . while it was one of the hardest things I have ever done it was also one of the best. As it was a full moon hike and the group did not meet until 10:30 at night. With it being dark outside my roommates were the cutest and assumed the role of proud parents dropping off their child for the first day of kindergarten. Krystie and Melissa, being experienced Santa Maria hikers coached me the whole walk to the meeting spot; going over the list of things I had with me and making sure I had not forgotten anything. With only a short walk to go I felt I had not the time to prepare myself. We had reached the front door. "Are you guys going to come in?", I asked hopefully. Both of them smirk at me and tell me I got it under control. There I am first day of kindergarten all over again. Panic stricken having only learned how to spell my full name the night before . . .
Inside, I made my way to notify the group leader I had arrived and that I would need to borrow a sleeping bag. We begin our meeting about what to expect and how best to use all forms of the bathroom on the trail. :) As the leader announces how excited she is that the weather looks perfect for our hike the first rain drops start to fall. Waiting around for much longer than we should have she finally gives us the option. You can go, but its supposed to rain all night or you can back out now. One girl quits right off the bat . . . loser! (That's for you, Uncle Mark)
Instead of getting on the road at 11:00 we all start piling into the back of mid-size delivery truck around 12:15. All 30 of us. Only room to stand, but I strategically put myself as far back into the truck, perched on the all the backpacks. It was actually very comfortable. When we've gone as far as the truck can go we begin. We're dropped in the community of Llanos del Pinal which I know well from guiding groups in stove building projects there. The foot path we use to take us to the base is actually one I have walked. I feel ahead of the game right off the bat. Familiarize yourself with your surrounding. Check. . . for now.
We hike for about an hour at which point we reached a fairly large clearing. All of us panting looking at the volcano above us, knowing its time to really man-up. Santi, our guide, announces this is where it gets steep. The rest of our hike will be pretty much straight up. I brace myself and know I'm as ready as I'll ever be. 20 minutes after eating trail mix and drinking water we begin again.
I put myself about 5th in line. I was tired of listening to the prissy chick and her boyfriend talk about her accomplishments the whole first hour. It becomes one step at a time. Each step my knee comes to my belly button to reach the next spot for my foot to reach. With a swollen stomach from something interesting I had eaten earlier in the day this proved to be no easy feat, but I did well. Staying right behind the person in front. We took breaks often due to our group being so big. With my stomach aching I had no problem with our pace while the over achievers behind me got restless. It was at one stopping point in particular one man got particularly snippy and told Santi we did not want anymore breaks, while my mind is screaming, "speak for yourself!". Santi replies, "If you want to go, lets go" and I know its about to get real. I take the few more seconds of rest to ask how much further we have expecting the vegetation to change at any moment and the top to be just around the corner. Santi answers, "2 more hours". All I can squeak is, "ensario". My mental strength now diminishes significantly.
The personal battle began here. Knowing that we had had at least one person turn back I began battling to fight with myself. Pushing myself harder and harder to stay right behind the person in front of me as to not irritate the high-maintenance man behind me that had been so vocal about taking no more breaks. 40 minutes in with no breaks I realize I can't continue at that pace especially with the status of my stomach. Fighting the inner leader, what my mother might call the eldest child syndrome, I relinquish my spot and proceed to let about 8 people pass me. Every person that past was another blow to my ego, but all the while trying to tell myself its better this way.
As they pull ahead I focus on never stopping and just moving one foot in front of the other. It becomes slowly apparent to me that I am totally alone. I see the flashlights far in front from the group I let pass and no sign of the rest of our original group behind me. It is pitch black, freezing cold, and extremely liberating. Finally the vegetation starts to change. Whether it be the years of nature camp or gardening that clues me in, the sign fills me with joy. I know that the lack of green and the sparse placement of woody bushes means I am getting close. With the lack of coverage now the wind howls and is relentless. I decipher the ever more confusing path and make my way up the gravelly face. About an hour and a half of hiking alone. I've arrived.
I had thought about crying with joy once I got to the top, but with no mother or boyfriend to comfort me, decided not to show these people anymore of my weak side and I stayed strong. I immediately stripped off my flimsy rain coat and soaking wet t-shirt and put on the many layers I had brought with me. Thinking back to several hours earlier when I had asked my roommate if I would need gloves on the trip. Her response being a firm "no". I cursed her now as it took hours to regain feeling in my hands and every ounce of focus to untie my boots in order to replace my soaking wet socks. With some warmth regained I quickly set up my sleeping mat and bag. I could finally "relax". I don't think you can say you are relaxing when you are shivering, but I have a new appreciation for the word after spending just over 5 hours ascending straight up a volcano in the dark.
Then this happened.

then this . . .

and this!

:)

In the morning light I was able to marvel at what I had accomplished and the beauty of the Santa Maria. This is her shadow, looking from the other side of the volcano.

It rained on us for only about 20 minutes the whole way. Considering the forecast this was amazing. The view from the top was practically cloudless. To have hiked during rainy season we owe mother nature a huge hug. As you can see it was gorgeous.
Scanning my surroundings I recognized places of worship covered in offerings of sugar and flowers. In Maya culture it seems that every spot is sacred. I travel to lakes, hills, valleys, and places in between always finding signs of worship. Santa Maria is no different. How refreshing! A people so in tune with nature, knowing its from where they came, that they use it as a vehicle for praise. Recognizing the alter I had an idea of what I would find on the descent in a few hours. . .
Around 8:30 we started down. It took us only about 45 minutes to come across the first Maya family making there way up. Men dressed in traditional cloths for ceremony, women in SKIRTS, SANDLES, and BABIES ON THEIR BACKS!!! Like billy goats they bounced up the volcano. In Guatemala I am constantly reminded of how pitiful I am.
Although I am still fighting a cold I think contracted from the cold air at the top I am ecstatic with what I learned along the way. I was reminded I am not a super hero. I learned I need to work out more. I realized what was important. Santa Maria gave me so much and I am thankful for her.

Before

After

Stuck between a rock and a hard place

Hello! Its been a while. Life has been hectic, but only in the best sort of way. I have guided two groups and this past week we had none! It has been a refreshing break before the flood gates open. Starting Saturday, we will anywhere from one to four groups with us until August 10th. Let the countdown begin! I'm thinking it will be like waitressing through the dinner rush except the dinner rush lasts 24 hours a day for the next 2 months. . . If you don't hear from me for a while its because I have collapsed somewhere.
Although the work is busy and I feel as though I'm on stage a lot (with translating, giving instructions, informing people of their daily itinerary, etc.) I am able to share in the most amazing experiences. I get to watch lives being changed every time I am in the community. I get to see women making decisions for them. And under the thumb of Guatemala's machismo culture, that is a huge deal!
I am lucky though, to be surrounded by tons of strong Guatemalan women. They all shine like beacons of hope for me and the Mayan women they seek to mobilize. Every single one of these women impresses me as they have overcome so much to stay strong and to be the rock for their family. There is one woman in particular that I have found to be my inspiration and when I am feeling unfocused I try to think of her. This woman tried to follow her husband illegally to the United States three times, one of those times almost dying in transit in the desert through Mexico. She still has debt accumulated from her coyote bills and although her husband was deported back to Guatemala he plans on risking it all again with the promise of a better life. The sad reality that Guatemalans and really any Latin American face is that they would rather be in their own country surrounded by their land, their friends, their family, their culture, but with little hope of a prosperous future. As I walk through the community with a the mason, Don Pauli, by my side I point to the different houses and ask about their differences. I ask, “why is this house so nice and big and this one is put together with pieces of scrap metal?” “Well that woman’s husband is in the states.”
The employees of AMA identified this woman I spoke of early of at risk and also as a great asset to our team of strong women here. Guatemala, just like every other developing country has a serious brain drain. Practically anybody with good education or ambition leaves. It’s a survival technique, but it leaves the country lacking in innovation and growth. This woman is the 3rd of three generations to be involved with AMA’s women circles. Her grandmother was an exuberant participator; her mother currently is the chef extraordinaire for AMA and makes all the lunches for groups that come to Guatemala through HSP. This woman has moved to a new community with her husband now that he is back in Guate and has started a now thriving women circle. Despite both her husband and her family not wanting her to work with the women circles she pushes on. She has become one of our strongest leaders and I am intimidated by her strength.
I have started to get to know her personally as we have been seeing a lot of each other during group season. She even let me hold her 5 month old baby Louis! My hope is that they stay put, but with her husband laying plans to return to the US I worried for her leaving too. I feel so bad that the choice even has to be made. How do determine what is best? If she tried again this time she would have to sneak her baby with her. . . The desire to keep your family together for the promise of a brighter future, but with the risk of death. . . I am just so happy to know that for the moment she is here, with her beautiful baby, changing the lives of women, and inspiring me.

On a side note I am hiking the volcano Santa Maria tonight by the light of the full moon. Pictures to come! A little indulgence before my life is consumed by groups.
http://www.quetzaltrekkers.com/guatesantamaria.html

Guatemala is saturated with aid, but which aid is good aid?

I was able to go home last week for the funeral of my grandfather. I am so thankful I could be with my family during this time and beyond the sadness of morning my grandfather I had a wonderful time being with family and close friends. It was on my return flight to Guatemala, from Atlanta to Guatemala City, that I was overcome with the realization that Guatemala has too much foreign aid! There were 4 mission trips alone on my flight and I know for sure that there were at least 2 other flights coming into Guatemala that day from the United States. The reason I can confidently say that these were mission trips was because each "team" had their own specially made t-shirt, which each person in the group was wearing. Each t-shirt bore the cross and a verse from the bible about the mercy of Christ. I am intimately familiar with the look; I myself went on several mission trips where we were all extremely coordinated in attire. I am not sure what the appeal of that is . . . I tried to ask a member of each group what they were going to be doing for their week in Guatemala although I never made it over to ask the neon, tie-die group. Pretty much all of them had the same answer, "we will be visiting an orphanage", "bringing medicine to a really poor community", "painting a church". Now that is all good and well, but what does that "poor" community have once those mission/service/volunteer teams leave? A bottle of medicine that will run out in a month? A memory of white faces that treated them like they were poor? A building that is freshly painted, but will probably never be used because it was not that "poor" community's idea to have it there in the first place?

I am sad for both groups of people, the community that is now poorer and the group that came to "help". Please do not get me wrong, this is in reference to any group of people whether they be from a university, a church, temple, mosque, or volunteer organization. In reality the team of people that came from the states to help had all of the best intentions in mind! I cannot be upset with them for that I just wish they could see how their aid has left the community they worked in. What actually happens is people come for a week and everything is all smiles and it feels as though the team has made a world of difference in the lives of the people, but most mission/service/volunteer teams will end up giving away aid for free and where does that leave the community? The community develops the mindset, "I don't need to work, I can wait on the next hand out that comes from the next service team". These handouts leave a community that once had developed systems of support, entrepreneurial aspirations, investment in their children's education, and pride in themselves without any of those things. This type of aid reduces people to believe that they are incapable of doing for themselves, they are reduced to having zero self worth, and they don't take ownership for their community any longer. It is true that communities need help! In the organization that I work for we measure poverty not by the amount of money you make, but by the opportunities available to you. Instead of giving material things we give experiences and opportunities. Instead of giving food to a family we teach the woman of the house a skill that she can support her family on. Instead of giving medicine to a whole community we organize support systems so that relationships can be formed in which they are comfortable to ask their neighbor for help. Instead of painting a building that was our idea to erect in the first place, we work with community leaders to identify what communal problems they want addressed with some support from our organization. This puts the power back in the hands of the "poor" and they are "poor" no longer. They have their pride and they are invested in their families and communities. This might take more investment and it won't provide instant gratification, but it is the right way of doing things. As ashamed as I am about the horrid t-shirts I had to wear on the high school mission trips I am proud that my church chose to participate in mission that truly benefited the community instead of leaving it a poorer place.


If you treat this woman like she is poor she will believe it and become so.

Anything that can happen, will happen.

Dear friends and family, I find it important to share with those that don't know that my grandfather, Lester Norton, passed away yesterday morning. He was 92 years old and ready to be reunited with his heavenly father. My family had been by his side day and night till the end. Although I could not be there in his final days I am comforted to know that there was no room for him to doubt my or my family's love for him. He was at peace and comforted to know that he was moving on to something much greater. With all the heartache I am happy to say that I will be able to come home briefly for the funeral and to be with my family. I feel very blessed with this opportunity and I appreciate all the love and support I have received already. Your warm sentiments have touched my heart. As far as I am concerned I will not be remembering him as the weak and frail old man that he became in his last week. I will be thinking of gigantic ice cream sundaes, battle ships, and Christmas time. On a lighter note, yesterday I also got food poisoning so when I say "anything that can happen, will happen" . . . I mean it! I am on the mend and I for sure don't have parasites, the silver lining in all of this. I don't have a picture for this post because you don't want to see what I have to show you. :) :) :) Once again, I want to thank you all for your thoughts and prayers and for you all to know that myself and my family deeply appreciate them.

It has been a long week. Only to get busier!

Hola! This week has been an exciting and successful one! I have not only been taking one on one Spanish classes for 5 hours each day, but participating in two really cool projects. One of which was completed the other which was implemented. We had a group of women come from the masters program in Social Work of Shippensburg University this week (one a professor and the other three being her students). They were a great group of women with such open hearts and minds. They were ready to learn and get their hands dirty! They worked in the community of Chuicavioc which is about a 20 minute car ride from the town I am living in. With only 4, they all worked in the same home building a stove. It was the home of Doña Josefina and her 4 children. The women circle that Doña Josefina belongs to elected her to receive the next stove that came available through Highland Support Project because with the rainy season coming a river would soon be running through her kitchen. The eminent rains would make cooking over an open fire extremely challenging if not impossible. What I loved most about leading this group through their stove building project was being able to listen to the comments that came from the family. The eldest daughter, who was very profound in her words, had the most encouraging things to say to the women that came. After the stove was completed and everyone was saying a tearful goodbye she said, "You have shown both the men and the women of this community that women are capable and thank you for that". Those words could not have made me more happy as I believe that it is just as important to build the stove as it is to show the women and the families of these rural communities that people care about their well being. This is a picture of Doña Josefina and her family! At the end of the week we had a goodbye and thank you ceremony which consisted of the whole women circle coming and cooking a traditional Guatemalan meal of Pepian and tamolitos. I was in heaven. With the women came their babies. :) Look at her checks!! The most precious babe I have ever seen. The other project that we really got off the ground this week was the medicinal herb garden that is located in the community of Llanos del Pinal (again, right outside of the town I am living in). The garden was planted on the land of the communities mid-wife who has the knowledge to use the medicinal herbs. This is so cool because with this garden will come the pride and resurgence of traditional Maya healing techniques. A lot of what this garden aims to do is provide these women with an affordable way of healing as opposed to paying a ton for western medicine. We aim to provide them with an education on how to balance the use of both as sometimes herbs might not cut it. The long term goal is to not only provide the community with a medicinal source, but to produce enough that the women have extra to make teas, salves, and tinctures for them to not only use but to sell at market as well. We have very high hopes for this project and the women are thrilled and extremely proud of the work they have accomplished so far.

60 is a big number!

HAPPY 60TH BIRTHDAY, DADDY!!!! I am so lucky that my family was able to celebrate my dad's birthday with me last weekend, but today is the official day! I am so sorry that I am not able to be there in person! He is the most kind man I have ever met and I don't know what I would do without him. Thank you, Dad for being so incredible. I'm sorry I can't be there for your special day. Also, HAPPY OFFICIAL US MOTHER'S DAY, MOMMY!!! I also wish I could be there to celebrate with you. I could not ask for a better role model! I'm missing you all terribly! I have the best family ever! On the Guatemalan Adventure portion of my life . . . I am beginning Spanish classes tomorrow and I will also be leading my first group of the summer tomorrow. I will be leading/translating for the group in the mornings and the classes are from 2:00pm to 7:00 pm in the evenings. I am about to have some long days, but Lord knows I need the practice. I was invited to a Mediterranean themed dinner/girls night last night and all day today I have not been able to stop thinking about all the wonderful food we all made. But what was so amazing about this group of girls is that they are from all over the world; Holland, Britain, Canada, Finland, and the US and the girl that has been there the shortest amount of time is 8 months and the girl that has been here the longest is 6 years! That is amazing! I am so jealous of what they know about this country and how beautiful there Spanish is. I cannot wait to catch up and I plan to quickly. I'm already making a list of things I have to do here if I can find the time. It sounds like to me that starting tomorrow I'm not going to have much of it. I am so excited to get really started tomorrow.

Happy Belated Mother's Day!!!! And Medicinal Plant Garden

The first thing you should know about Guatemalan's is that they set off fireworks for every occasion, big or small. Mother's Day here, which was May 10th, happens to be a very big celebrations which made the fireworks they used even bigger. Having been here the summer of 2010 during Father's Day I had prepared myself mentally for the early morning fright of fireworks going off around 6:00. On May 9th I went to be focused, saying to myself, "Penelope, you will not be terrified when you are awoken very early my bottle rockets". 12:00 am May 10th, I swear, canons went off!!!! I have never jumped so high. It was like nothing I have ever experienced and they did not stop for about 10 minutes. I promise, I really am not exaggerating when I say they sounded like canons. Definitely not your average bottle rocket if a bottle rocket at all. The town literally shut down for the occasion. Stores were closed and unless you had made a reservation a long time in advance you could not get into a restaurant. I wish I could be in the United States to celebrate with my mother tomorrow, but I am confident that the two sisters at home, Isabelle and Zipporah, will take good care of her tomorrow. Miss you and love you mommy!!! Yesterday, even though it was jump started a little early was a wonderful day. I got to go check out a medicinal herb garden that AMA and HSP are putting in the community of Llanos del Pinal. We have not put the plants in yet, but the women of the Llanos del Pinal Women's Circle have prepared the land and are waiting on further instructions on the perfect layout for the plants. We hope to start planting this coming week. All the materials for the enclosure that they are being planted in and all the plants were donated by Vale United Methodist Church so a big thank you to them!! The medicinal plant garden is being planted on the land of the communities mid-wife and our hopes are that she will be able to use them in her practices and that in the long term the women circle can use the herbs they harvest and convert them into teas and oils to be sold for a small income. I look forward tot he success of this project. It combines everything I love, gardening and community development! I look forward to planting next week. We had lots of helpers yesterday!